Wilson's new plaything
by rosie's chickenwing
Summary: Set in season six. Wilson tells House about the woman he met. House is suspicious. When House first meets her she seems really boring, but is she really? What is it that Wilson sees in her? Or was it House who saw something in her?
1. Chapter 1

**Not sure where this is going.. I should probably continue my other stories but nah... My mind decided to come up with this story and Catherine.**

 **The original characters are not mine and I only made the other stuff up.**

Let me know if I should write more of it or delete it and do something useful with my life instead.

"Wilson, you can't be serious!", House exclaimed as they walked through the hospital corridors.

"You really shouldn't make such a big deal of it.", Wilson muttered and looked around to make sure that not too many people were staring at them.

"One would think that after three _failed_ marriages you would have learned your lesson." Wilson was about to answer when House ranted on. "How much money did you plan to spend on your alimonies?"

"As long as I can still afford to buy you lunch every day, you shouldn't care.", he mumbled as he opened the main door to leave the hospital but of course House got in his way and squeezed through before him.

There was a pointed silence as they walked along the parking lot to Wilson's car.

"Are you going to meet her later today?", House asked as they got in.

"Yeah, I was actually just going to drop you off at home and then I am going to meet her for dinner." With that Wilson started the car. House looked out of the window.

"So, no cooking for dinner?"

" _I_ won't cook today. You could make something for yourself or order something."

"We had pizza yesterday already...", House complained and slumped down in his seat.

"All right, then why don't you tag along? Catherine and I will go for some Indian food."

"Catherine...", House moaned dramatically. "That's her name? It sounds so adult."

"House, we are adults.", Wilson stated and indicated to leave the parking lot.

"Let us just assume that I _would_ tag along, I would feel like the third wheel."

"As if that ever bothered you... You would only come for the food and to ruin the date anyway."

House said nothing for a while.

"How long have you been dating then? It's a miracle I haven't noticed before."

Wilson sighed and pushed a hand through his hair.

"Do you remember the speed-dating?"

"Oh no, she isn't one of those women, is she? Because if she is then I am so _not_ coming with you. I talked to all of them and they were super dull. Did she tell you all about her cancer-sick relatives or even better, does she have cancer herself? Jimmy, you know that it is improper to be in a relationship with one of your patients. We had this talk before."

Wilson sighed again.

"After the speed-dating I brought you home and went out again to get some food, remember?" House nodded and scratched his beard, apparently lost in thought. "I met her at the take-away sh-"

"I bet she owns the business and it's about to go bust. She would just be needy enough for you then."

"No, she was in the queue before me. It was a really long queue and at some point we started to talk."

"That is just like you. After a speed-dating evening you go out to get food and come home with a destitute afterwards."

"I only came home with her email address."

"Again very adult."

"She got a new phone and number and everything so she didn't know it by heart yet. Instead, she gave me her email. That is how sensible adults stay in contact these days, House."

"Boring. So what does she do for a living then? Is she a grumpy, glass-wearing, boring librarian?"

"She's an attorney."

House chuckled.

"That is great!", he laughed now. "That's so ironic. She will really rip you off at your divorce, provided she is good at her job."

Again, Wilson sighed.

"She is really good at her job. You might have actually heard of her before."

"What's her second name then?"

Wilson didn't answer. Her looked at the street and his cheeks reddened slightly.

"You know, it is rude to ignore a question when somebody asks you so nicely."

"You avoid my questions all the time.", Wilson kvetched.

"I only asked for her name. Calm down Wilson. Is it Cox? Wang? 'Fagot' is another name I heard recently."

"It's Wilson.", he finally admitted.

"Wait a second." House was shocked. "Did you already marry her? I told you after your last divorce that you had to present the next woman to me and depending on my opinion of her and her cleavage I would decide whether you were allowed to keep her or not. Was I not clear about that?"

"You were drunk when you.. slurred that. Because we got drunk on the day of my divorce. Her name has always been Wilson. Well, except for the two years she had been married."

"Widow or divorced?" House didn't allow Wilson to answer. "Doesn't matter, you could bond either way."

"That one was mean, even for you.", Wilson condemned. "Divorced."

"And she thinks it's okay that you have outdone her twice?"

"She laughed about that actually and said that she would have made some money had we met earlier."

"She hasn't been at the condo yet, or has she?"

"She dropped me off once."

" _She_ dropped _you_ off? Now, who's the man in the relationship, Wilson?"

"It's not really a relationship yet. We only have known each other for roughly a month so far."

"So? Usually you aren't that slow. Plus, at the hospital you said and I quote: 'House, there is this woman I want to tell you about.'" He made ridiculous exclamation marks with his hands. "That beginning usually means that you already proposed."

"We are kind of between friends and dating right now."

"And you thought that I would help you score points with her?" House was suspicious now.

"Not really. But I hinted some days ago, that I would introduce the two of you."

"Oh, then you are probably just the middle man because she has the hots for me.", House smirked.

Wilson stopped at the red traffic lights and turned his head to look at House.

"Are you coming along then or not?"

"Is she hot?", House asked and Wilson sighed yet again.

 **That's the first chapter. I will probably upload the second one later today. We'll see...**


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe you, House!", Wilson yelled and slammed the door to the condo behind them. "You couldn't behave yourself for _two minutes_. You have the sincerity of a mentally challenged two-year old!"

"Ouch.", House pretended to be hurt and held a hand to his heart in a mock gesture. "She started it though."

Wilson ripped his tie off and threw it over the couch's backrest. He held his forehead with his left hand and put his right hand on his hip.

"Okay, okay, okay. I'll try to keep calm. House, how in that crazy, conflicted, promiscuous mind did _she_ start it?", Wilson asked and looked at House indignantly.

House leaned his cane against the couch and took off his leather jacket quietly.

"House? I am waiting.", Wilson urged.

"I am thinking."

"Right now, you are making up a reason."

"Am not!" House protested. "She sat there and-"

"And?"

"She, ah.. her blouse.", House offered as if it was obvious what he meant.

"What about it?"

"The way her first few buttons were undone... She wanted to be called a slut."

Wilson threw his hands up in the air.

"You walked in there right after me, watched as she hugged me and then held your hand out to her saying: 'So, you must be Wilson's new plaything?' In which parallel universe is that an acceptable introduction?"

"Oh, come on. She thought it was funny. She smiled."

"A polite smile. Anyway, I expected that from you. I also suspected that 'Wilson'-thing where you called us Mr and Mrs 'Wilson' throughout the meal."

"What? Are you forbidding me to call you by your name. It is your name, you know? And it is her name too."

Wilson let out a frustrated sigh and walked to the kitchen. He took a beer out of the fridge and walked back to the living room.

"You could have asked me if I wanted one too.", House said and took his cane.

"You could have behaved yourself earlier.", Wilson shot back.

House snorted and went to the kitchen. He came back with a beer of his own and plopped down next to Wilson.

"Actually, she is hot."

"I noticed that you thought that. I might have picked that up because you told her so five minutes into the meal or by the way you stared at her chest." Wilson was still very angry it seemed.

"So what, she's hot and she knew that before I stared at her."

"More like leered.", Wilson muttered and took a sip of his beer.

"She knows that she is hot and that is her problem. The way she carries herself is just so _mature_. She is a stuck-up twit and a workaholic. She had her briefcase by her side and whenever you were gone from the table, she was at her phone."

"That was possibly because whenever I was gone from the table, you just sat there staring at her face waiting for her to unlatch or something. I would have been tense under that gaze if I were her.", Wilson supplied and House shook his head blankly.

"I say, she is already cheating on you while you are not even in a relationship with her."

Wilson shook his head now and turned on the TV.

"What do you want with her, Wilson? She's just so uptight. But then again... Sam was very uptight too. Perhaps that's how you like your women. Tell me, is she like that when you have sex too? Because if she is, then I really don't know what's so special about her." House watched Wilson closely. His eyes were fixed on the TV screen. However, they flickered awkwardly to the side for a second. House' mouth dropped open. "I can't believe you! I didn't think you would take things _that_ slow. You didn't even sleep with her yet?" House laughed at his friend.

Wilson turned off the TV.

"It's complicated House. She- I told you we were somewhere between friends and a relationship."

"Yeah! But I thought 'somewhere' meant this awkward high school thing. 'We had sex twice and yesterday we dry humped again but are we really dating now?'", he mocked in a high-pitched voice and made girly eyes.

As so often already, Wilson sighed, downed the rest of his beer and stood up from the couch. He didn't look at House as he stood up. He only put the bottle away and made his way to his bedroom. "I am going to bed.", he called over his shoulder.

House turned the TV back on and put his feet on the coffee table. He leaned his head against the backrest as he heard Wilson's bedroom door shut.

"I don't like her, Wilson.", House finally yelled towards Wilson's room.

"I don't care."

 **I know this chapter is shorter than the first one. Sorry for that.**

 **In the next chapter, there will be some active Catherine as opposed to only Wilson and House talking about her.**

 **Anyone interested?**


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